No BS. No Fridge Magnets. No Such Thing as a Bad Question.
HOMEROOM
A weekly real estate advice column from the BREL team
September 26, 2024
Dear Homeroom,
My parents are coming to see our new house for the first time. It is 1/3 the size of theirs with 1/4 of the yard, and I paid $1.4 million MORE for it than they did for their first house in 1991. Plus, it needs work.
Do you recommend vodka, Ativan or Gravol for the visit?
– Newly Minted Homeowner
Dear Newly Minted Homeowner,
Ah, the classic parental visit to your new digs, where you’ll be treated to a super fun combination of nostalgia, judgment disguised as “helpful questions,” and comparisons to your sister who bought her home years ago in a different, less expensive city. First off, congrats on the new house! Now, let’s dive into the impending family circus.
Your parents will likely make some “helpful” observations, so let’s get ahead of it. As soon as they step through the door, hit them with your best “Welcome to our cozy castle!” You might want to throw in a cheeky comment about taking minimalist living to a whole new level.
As for your question about pre-gaming, why not all three?
Just kidding—please don’t mix your pharmaceuticals and spirits. Serving them a welcome cocktail is the perfect way to keep things celebratory and social. Plus, it gives you a chance to show off your hosting skills and score some points with your mom (“I learned from the best!).
This will also help take the edge off the inevitable home tour. If your parents start pulling out the old “I don’t understand why you didn’t just XYZ” routine, a little anxiety relief via a strong cocktail or an Ativan could go a long way (just remember to pick one or the other).
If you find you need a Gravol, it might be time to call in a professional—like a family therapist or a life coach.
When your parents inevitably compare your house to theirs, pivot the conversation. Point out what you love about your new space – and your new life.
Whether it’s the view of the top of the CN Tower from the upstairs bedroom or the fact that you can bike to work, it’s your house, and you’re allowed to be excited about it.
Now let’s talk about that “needs work” part. Instead of focusing on the current state of your 1980’s kitchen cabinets, show them your Pinterest boards filled with renovation dreams and budget realities. Remember that renos always take longer and cost more than you think, so be careful not to come across as naive – the last thing you want is to introduce a new lecture topic.
If things get too heated, have a plan. Maybe you could casually mention your “early morning plans” the next day or take them out for a walk to reset the conversation and introduce them to your new neighbourhood.
Just remember, your home reflects your life, your style, and the realities of the current real estate market, not their outdated expectations. They’ll get on board eventually and will pop by to drop off random boxes of your old stuff in no time.
Good luck with the parentals! We’re rooting for you.
the BREL team
No BS. No Fridge Magnets.
No Such Thing as a Bad Question.
HOMEROOM delivers straightforward advice and guidance from the BREL team. We’re using our deep real estate knowledge and experience to answer your burning questions.
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